is to have a partner, to have people around you, to have a definite social position. In order to satisfy this need you have an instinct for what pleases and possess, or acquire, talents for things like cooking, decor, fashion, entertaining or anything that introduces a sense of harmony or togetherness to a situation. Perversely, not trusting this social sense can make you rather anti-social.
Your weakness is that you become so dependent upon life being 'nice' and 'pleasant' that you find it hard to confront the darker or less attractive parts of your personality. And because you do have grace and charm it is all too easy to maintain a superficial sense of things being all right. It is quite likely that this need to please has its roots in your having felt that you had to please your mother, father or whoever brought you up.
The irony is that your overriding need for a partner ensures that sooner or later you do have to face what it is about yourself that is not at all easy to relate to - either because you have lost a partner or cannot find or keep one. An important advance is made when you have a partner with whom you can rationally discuss your mutual shortcomings without feeling rejected or unattractive - which is basically what you're so sensitive about.
Having confronted this issue, you then discover that your talent for making others, and therefore yourself, feel good is increased a hundredfold because feeling at ease with your own dark spots enables others to feel at ease with theirs. Ease indeed. |
